It's an uneventful time for us in baby development at 23 weeks, though not for the baby. We haven't had any check ups, the ultra sounds are over, now we just watch the bump grow. We've been feeling the kicks since week 21. That's been great. We're in the midst of moving house, having the flu and busy, busy work so it's not much blog fodder.
We switched from our doctor to midwife care. It's covered under public health in Canada so really, the doctors just can't compete with the kind of care the midwives offer - appointments after 5pm, 24 hour calls and home visits! Plus Tina's pretty sure she wants to try to have a home birth. Lots of our friends have had their kids at home and they've all had pretty darn good experiences.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Arms, legs, ribs and all
Today was an exciting day. Ultrasound day. The baby looks like a baby now, less like a jelly bean or a peanut. The 2D ultrasound still makes it look a little alien though. We'd been wondering when Tina would start feeling the baby - we knew it was alive because we'd heard the heartbeat but she hadn't been able to feel any movement. Today we found out the placenta is on the front wall so she'll feel it a bit later than average. I was surprised at how much detail we could see but we have left the sex a mystery. In Canada the technicians can no longer tell you the sex if you're less than 20 weeks (they send it to your doctor in the report); supposedly this is because of the frequency of abortions of unwanted girls. That's a sad fact. This ultrasound is also diagnostic - they look for soft markers, measure the back of the neck, the spine and check the growth. Looks like we've got a healthy baby in there! Good times. You know what else is good times? Ribs.
These ribs are succulent, juicy deliciousness and they make their own bbq sauce. You can use baby back or side ribs - pork is what we've always used. You first make a rub of salt, pepper, paprika, chilli and sugar. Put in about 5 times as much sugar as the other ingredients and just rub it onto the meat so it adheres (don't completely coat the meat). If you can leave the meat to sit with it's rub on for a few hours, even better but it's not essential. When ready to start cooking, wrap the meat in a solid piece of tin foil with one end open (you'll probably need a second layer of tin foil to prevent leakage).
Make a liquid mixture containing the juice of an orange, a tablespoon of ketchup, a teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce, a bottle of alcoholic cider and garlic. Pour this mixture into the open end of the rib packets (this should be enough for about 3 long racks of ribs). Put the ribs in the oven and cook on 125 degrees Celsius for 2.5 hours. Once the time is up, pull the ribs out (but leave the oven on) and, one at a time over a saucepan, snip holes in the edges of the packets to drain the juices. Leave the ribs wrapped in foil. When all the juices have been drained, heat the saucepan and simmer the sauce until it boils down to a thick, sticky sauce (watch it reduce so you don't burn it).
When the sauce is thick, open the rib packets and paint the sauce on to the ribs (both sides). he meat on the ribs should be tender and almost falling off the bone but not dry. Put the ribs (without the foil) into the oven and let the sauce brown and caramelise on the ribs. When they look brown and delicious, pull them out, coat them in sauce one more time and serve!
These ribs are succulent, juicy deliciousness and they make their own bbq sauce. You can use baby back or side ribs - pork is what we've always used. You first make a rub of salt, pepper, paprika, chilli and sugar. Put in about 5 times as much sugar as the other ingredients and just rub it onto the meat so it adheres (don't completely coat the meat). If you can leave the meat to sit with it's rub on for a few hours, even better but it's not essential. When ready to start cooking, wrap the meat in a solid piece of tin foil with one end open (you'll probably need a second layer of tin foil to prevent leakage).
Make a liquid mixture containing the juice of an orange, a tablespoon of ketchup, a teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce, a bottle of alcoholic cider and garlic. Pour this mixture into the open end of the rib packets (this should be enough for about 3 long racks of ribs). Put the ribs in the oven and cook on 125 degrees Celsius for 2.5 hours. Once the time is up, pull the ribs out (but leave the oven on) and, one at a time over a saucepan, snip holes in the edges of the packets to drain the juices. Leave the ribs wrapped in foil. When all the juices have been drained, heat the saucepan and simmer the sauce until it boils down to a thick, sticky sauce (watch it reduce so you don't burn it).
When the sauce is thick, open the rib packets and paint the sauce on to the ribs (both sides). he meat on the ribs should be tender and almost falling off the bone but not dry. Put the ribs (without the foil) into the oven and let the sauce brown and caramelise on the ribs. When they look brown and delicious, pull them out, coat them in sauce one more time and serve!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Testing tests
Phew! Quad...triple marker test screen or whatever it is came back clear. So, what does that mean exactly? I struggled a little with this because our friend's friends (I know) just had a baby with downs syndrome despite getting a negative test. The doctor told us that, given Tina's age and other risk factors, negative results are very reassuring. I found a good article that explains a bit about how the test works. From what I can gather, the screening test looks at the levels of various proteins and hormones as risk indicators for several birth defects. This article suggests that the screening catches approximately 70% of downs cases and about 80% of neural tube defects. They consider this, your age, gestational age and no doubt some other factors when determining your 'risk' of having a baby with one of these issues. Given that the frequency of downs and neural tube defects is already very low in the general population, a negative result on this test further reduces your level of 'risk'. Ergo, your risk is so low that having an amnio would in fact be a greater risk.
I had to get my head around all of this before being able to accept the 'risk'. I think it would be possible to continue worrying about every aspect of this pregnancy but at some point you (well me really) need to accept that there will be some level of risk no matter what tests you do and get on with being happy about the whole experience. If the poor kid's already under pressure of perfection in utero, well, it's going to have a tough time on the outside. So, yay! 17 weeks today.
I had to get my head around all of this before being able to accept the 'risk'. I think it would be possible to continue worrying about every aspect of this pregnancy but at some point you (well me really) need to accept that there will be some level of risk no matter what tests you do and get on with being happy about the whole experience. If the poor kid's already under pressure of perfection in utero, well, it's going to have a tough time on the outside. So, yay! 17 weeks today.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Quad and Cod
It's been a long time between posts - Tina is now 16 weeks. The news has broken. It was great to finally be able to tell friends and family and share that excitement. People have been respectful and most have been too polite to ask us many questions about the process or the donor. People closer to us have been more openly curious and we got a couple of funny questions but overall, it's been really good. We got pretty used to 6 weeks of the good life too. It's been a shock to give it up and go back to work.
Tomorrow we get the quad marker test results, it's the first test we've done and is prone to false positives. Fifty out of 1,000 women get an abnormal result indicating a birth defect but only 1 or 2 fetuses actually have a defect. Despite that, we'd probably get an amnio if we had an abnormal result. Something about this process has made us extra cautious. First time and all I guess.
I was reading some stuff about the voluntary human extinction movement the other day. A few years ago, I probably would have considered joining. My ideas have shifted somewhat since then. It seems to me that people who would consciously take part in the VHEM are likely to be thoughtful, ethical, intelligent people who would reproduce thoughtful, ethical, intelligent kids. So if they remove th
emselves from the gene pool, the probability of the stupid and ignorant inheriting the earth increases and the world's suffering and destruction worsens all the more rapidly. On the other hand, it sometimes feels as though the stupid and ignorant have inherited the earth already. It sure looks like I've picked a side though and I'll be maintaining hope for the future.
Enough ideology. There has been much good eating and cooking over the last month but I have been a bad blogger. We had cod stew for dinner tonight. It was a hearty meal but I wasn't very impressed with the recipe. I think next time I'd try this one instead.
Tomorrow we get the quad marker test results, it's the first test we've done and is prone to false positives. Fifty out of 1,000 women get an abnormal result indicating a birth defect but only 1 or 2 fetuses actually have a defect. Despite that, we'd probably get an amnio if we had an abnormal result. Something about this process has made us extra cautious. First time and all I guess.
I was reading some stuff about the voluntary human extinction movement the other day. A few years ago, I probably would have considered joining. My ideas have shifted somewhat since then. It seems to me that people who would consciously take part in the VHEM are likely to be thoughtful, ethical, intelligent people who would reproduce thoughtful, ethical, intelligent kids. So if they remove th
emselves from the gene pool, the probability of the stupid and ignorant inheriting the earth increases and the world's suffering and destruction worsens all the more rapidly. On the other hand, it sometimes feels as though the stupid and ignorant have inherited the earth already. It sure looks like I've picked a side though and I'll be maintaining hope for the future.Enough ideology. There has been much good eating and cooking over the last month but I have been a bad blogger. We had cod stew for dinner tonight. It was a hearty meal but I wasn't very impressed with the recipe. I think next time I'd try this one instead.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Telling the family
Tina's tiredness and nausea during the first trimester has made travelling a little challenging at times. We have now told our immediate families (parents and siblings) that Tina is pregnant (she's 11 weeks now). We've decided to wait till the magic 12 week mark to make it public knowledge.
Tina has been having some cramping at night, which caused a bit of concern but from what we can tell it's probably not a big deal unless accompanied by spotting. It seems as though anything can be a symptom of pregnancy and there's nothing that can be done if a miscarriage is going to occur anyway so we just need to relax and go with the flow. Her belly is protruding quite significantly though so black is the only concealer and it won't be a secret for long. A couple of friends have asked probing questions but they're too worried about causing offence to ask Tina straight out - in case she just gained a whole lot of weight. Given all the changes that have occurred in her body and how real it seems now, I have begun comprehend how physically and emotionally devastating a miscarriage would be for us at this point. Best not to think about it as, if all goes well, this is only the beginning of potential worries about the wellbeing of our child.
Family responses to the news have been positive with only a smattering of stupid questions. As expected, there has been a fair bit of curiosity regarding the process (though some respectfully ask very few questions while others ask many). We are still struggling with how to frame it; given the inevitable curiosity factor, we basically need to indoctrinate our family with the vocabulary and ethos that we want them to spread. Like a propaganda machine! It's not really that full on but getting them on board with things like donor instead of father and the two of us forming a complete parental unit rather than missing something will be important concepts. We also don't want people knowing more information about the process than we're comfortable telling our child. Anyway, I'm sure there will be some stories to come and, as always, any advice is appreciated. By the way, the umbilical cord and placenta dropped off on their own after 4 days and all is well with the lotus baby.
I'll throw in a quick ceviche recipe that we tried the other night. It's going to form the first course of one of the four Christmas dinners we are attending! That's what you get for coming from a broken home - it's another good reason to stay in Canada;). I found the recipe on recipezaar and adapted it a bit:
1. I used bluefish (a newzealand fish), scallops and prawns. Any mild white-fleshed fish will do. I used about 700g of fish and five each of scallops and prawns. So that Tina could eat the dish, I steamed all seafood before hand (although the acidity of the dish didn't really agree with her so I'll probably leave the fish raw for the next one and just steam the scallops and prawns).
2. Mix 4 cloves of garlic, the juice of five limes, 1/2 tsp of salt, pinch of black pepper, 2 tsp of fresh cilantro, 1 seeded red chili pepper and 1/2 a red onion in a bowl. I left the chili in large pieces so I could remove it once the dish had the desired heat (the people I was feeding were not into really hot food).
3. Chop the seafood into pieces of similar size (I made them about 1 x 1 cm). Add the seafood to the lime mixture and leave it to marinate for 2-3 hours.
4. Separately, prepare a salsa of chopped avocado, tomato (seeded), red onion, lime and salt and pepper to taste. Add some tobasco for a bit of heat if you like. Red pepper is also optional.
5. When ready to serve either mix the salsa and ceviche or serve them separately on the plate. Serve them on top of a crispy tortilla with lime wedges.
Tina has been having some cramping at night, which caused a bit of concern but from what we can tell it's probably not a big deal unless accompanied by spotting. It seems as though anything can be a symptom of pregnancy and there's nothing that can be done if a miscarriage is going to occur anyway so we just need to relax and go with the flow. Her belly is protruding quite significantly though so black is the only concealer and it won't be a secret for long. A couple of friends have asked probing questions but they're too worried about causing offence to ask Tina straight out - in case she just gained a whole lot of weight. Given all the changes that have occurred in her body and how real it seems now, I have begun comprehend how physically and emotionally devastating a miscarriage would be for us at this point. Best not to think about it as, if all goes well, this is only the beginning of potential worries about the wellbeing of our child.
Family responses to the news have been positive with only a smattering of stupid questions. As expected, there has been a fair bit of curiosity regarding the process (though some respectfully ask very few questions while others ask many). We are still struggling with how to frame it; given the inevitable curiosity factor, we basically need to indoctrinate our family with the vocabulary and ethos that we want them to spread. Like a propaganda machine! It's not really that full on but getting them on board with things like donor instead of father and the two of us forming a complete parental unit rather than missing something will be important concepts. We also don't want people knowing more information about the process than we're comfortable telling our child. Anyway, I'm sure there will be some stories to come and, as always, any advice is appreciated. By the way, the umbilical cord and placenta dropped off on their own after 4 days and all is well with the lotus baby.
I'll throw in a quick ceviche recipe that we tried the other night. It's going to form the first course of one of the four Christmas dinners we are attending! That's what you get for coming from a broken home - it's another good reason to stay in Canada;). I found the recipe on recipezaar and adapted it a bit:
1. I used bluefish (a newzealand fish), scallops and prawns. Any mild white-fleshed fish will do. I used about 700g of fish and five each of scallops and prawns. So that Tina could eat the dish, I steamed all seafood before hand (although the acidity of the dish didn't really agree with her so I'll probably leave the fish raw for the next one and just steam the scallops and prawns).
2. Mix 4 cloves of garlic, the juice of five limes, 1/2 tsp of salt, pinch of black pepper, 2 tsp of fresh cilantro, 1 seeded red chili pepper and 1/2 a red onion in a bowl. I left the chili in large pieces so I could remove it once the dish had the desired heat (the people I was feeding were not into really hot food).
3. Chop the seafood into pieces of similar size (I made them about 1 x 1 cm). Add the seafood to the lime mixture and leave it to marinate for 2-3 hours.
4. Separately, prepare a salsa of chopped avocado, tomato (seeded), red onion, lime and salt and pepper to taste. Add some tobasco for a bit of heat if you like. Red pepper is also optional.
5. When ready to serve either mix the salsa and ceviche or serve them separately on the plate. Serve them on top of a crispy tortilla with lime wedges.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Lotus babies
We haven't posted for a while because we're travelling in Australia right now. It's hard to get the time. Nor have I been cooking - but I have been eating extremely well. If you are travelling in Melbourne check out Cumulus Inc. and Gill's Diner. We're each visiting two of our friends here who have recently had babies; one eight months ago and one two days ago.
Our friends with the new born have gone the route of the lotus baby. A lotus baby is one who is not separated from the placenta at birth, but in fact retains it connected via the umbilical cord until it drops of naturally or needs to be cut because the placenta goes bad. I must admit that I find this concept quite challenging but there are a number of arguments for it. Their first baby was very distressed when the cord was cut, hence their decision to try the lotus baby method this time around. Babies who don't have their cord cut are said to be calmer and more relaxed - this baby is indeed calm. The placenta is wrapped up and swaddled with the baby. The midwife checks it to ensure that it doesn't go bad and then it is salted to preserve it longer. If the placenta gets smelly, the cord is cut. I'm not sure how I'd feel about doing this myself. Can anyone share their experience with lotus babies?
Our friends with the new born have gone the route of the lotus baby. A lotus baby is one who is not separated from the placenta at birth, but in fact retains it connected via the umbilical cord until it drops of naturally or needs to be cut because the placenta goes bad. I must admit that I find this concept quite challenging but there are a number of arguments for it. Their first baby was very distressed when the cord was cut, hence their decision to try the lotus baby method this time around. Babies who don't have their cord cut are said to be calmer and more relaxed - this baby is indeed calm. The placenta is wrapped up and swaddled with the baby. The midwife checks it to ensure that it doesn't go bad and then it is salted to preserve it longer. If the placenta gets smelly, the cord is cut. I'm not sure how I'd feel about doing this myself. Can anyone share their experience with lotus babies?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
So, how do you answer those tricky questions?
Well, we're going to visit the folks (in Australia) in a couple of weeks and we'll be telling the family the happy news. Now, it's not that we expect it to be anything other than happy news but the inevitable questions, and our boundaries around those questions are something that we're trying to work out.
I was just checking out some other blogs and sites on this issue but they're approaching it from the perspective what not to ask. So, how do you respone when they do ask what they're not supposed to ask? When you type in a google search along the lines of "how to answer questions about lesbian pregnancy", the first site that comes up is someone asking whether pregnancy can make you a lesbian! The links after that are pretty much more of the same i.e., not much help.
From my perspective, it's okay for people to be curious about how we went about pregnancy but I can also see that it's important to firmly establish the boundaries about how we be talk about it from now on. For example, people need to understand there isn't a 'dad' and to respect our choices, both on how we conceived and how we'll choose to talk about these things in the long-run with our child. I don't think we'll have to work too hard for our families to understand this but the questions will keep on coming I'm sure. If anyone has any advice to offer, we'd be glad to hear it.
On to the important business of food - we're trying to clean out the fridge and keep things simple so that doesn't provide much blog fodder. See steamed veggies with chicken and mushrooms on rice. No need for a recipe, it's exactly what you'd expect - just don't over steam the vegetables. If you're looking for some excietement though, check out tastespotting. Delicious!
I was just checking out some other blogs and sites on this issue but they're approaching it from the perspective what not to ask. So, how do you respone when they do ask what they're not supposed to ask? When you type in a google search along the lines of "how to answer questions about lesbian pregnancy", the first site that comes up is someone asking whether pregnancy can make you a lesbian! The links after that are pretty much more of the same i.e., not much help.
From my perspective, it's okay for people to be curious about how we went about pregnancy but I can also see that it's important to firmly establish the boundaries about how we be talk about it from now on. For example, people need to understand there isn't a 'dad' and to respect our choices, both on how we conceived and how we'll choose to talk about these things in the long-run with our child. I don't think we'll have to work too hard for our families to understand this but the questions will keep on coming I'm sure. If anyone has any advice to offer, we'd be glad to hear it.
On to the important business of food - we're trying to clean out the fridge and keep things simple so that doesn't provide much blog fodder. See steamed veggies with chicken and mushrooms on rice. No need for a recipe, it's exactly what you'd expect - just don't over steam the vegetables. If you're looking for some excietement though, check out tastespotting. Delicious!
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